you have entered the one place in all of blogging history and possibly in the universe where anything is possible! (ok, not really, but at least i have your attention now right?) you have now entered the intergalacticsubdimentionalsuperfunspaceportal, on a serious note, we are dedicated to making this blog as random, various, fun and entertaining as possible, on a not so serious note, while reading this, it is possible to fall through a vortex into an alternate universe where tiny elves eat monkey ears and in-laws are nice people. On an even more serious note than both of the previous...no really, its happened, you might wanna look down just in case.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The adventures of spaceman jim! no 2

"quickly klark! weve got to eat our way through this frosting to free the ship!" "uh...jimbo, if we take our helmets off, we will suffocate" "right! lets get started!" but before they could do anything they were already nearly inside the giant cake-door. "its too late clark! weve got to prepare ourselves for a very dramatic space battle!" "jimbo! you said my name with a 'c' instead of a 'k'!" "jumping space-beetles! your right! and your head looks enormous! oh, nevermind...youve always looked like that" "jimbo, i think we are becoming delutional! the smell of cake must be overwhelming us, they want us to pass out!" "................." 'the last quotation was not filled because they both passed out' a few hours later, jim woke up in what appeared to be a very futuristic looking prison cell "what a nightmare! being stuck inside a giant peice of cake, held prisoner, and not even allowed to eat any of the cake! klark! hm.....hes still sleep in the corner over there,geez, wouldnt he be surprised if he woke up in a prison cell inside a giant peice of cake, im gonna have some stories to tell him when i get........oh wait....nevermind" just then klark woke up "jimbo! thank goodness were alive, weve got to get out of here! they probably plan to sell us on the blackhole market to the highest bidder! and theres lots of criminals that would love to see us.." "dance?" "no jimbo.." "make dinner for them?" "no..." "be...tickled with feathers?" "no!" "fruitcake?" "what???" "nothing...." "no jimbo, i think they plan to..." just then they heard a door open and people, or..aliens...or some manner of sci-fi ish things moving twards them.....join us next time to see what will happen with spaceman jim!

Friday, June 25, 2010

The adventures of spaceman Jim!

spaceman Jim and his loyal sidekick/butler/housekeeper/pretty much does everything for him/friend named klark set out on a journey from their home planet about a year ago to find adventure, fight injustice, and find the universes best cake! "jimbo!" said klark "there is a small floating building with a giant bug looking thing on top of their sign! shall we enter?" spaceman Jim looked at the building *gasp!* "there are no floating buildings with bug looking things on top of their signs allowed in this quadrant! klark! we must stop this injustice!" so spaceman jim and his faithful sidekick burst open the door of the strange building *bam!* "alright you space-mongrels, you've been caught, come out with your hands, paws and or tentacles up!" The door suddenly shut behind them "wait a minute, that door wasn't closed when we opened it...somethings not right here..." then klark suddenly spoke "jimbo! there are super-pulse-atom-charges all over this room, it must be a trap!" "wait a minute klark! there are super-pulse-atom-charges everywhere, its got to be a trap! they wont catch us with our bright green space pants down!" Then spaceman jim and klark shot back through the door with their high powered plasmajelly guns *squish!* "quickly klark! bring the ship around so that we can find the space mongrels light-year trail before it disintegrates!" "jimbo, we could have just beamed out of there instead of wasting plasmajelly." "yes i thought that was quite a heroic escape too klark, now lets move!" *shabooooooooooommmm!* "do you have thier trail klark?" "not yet jimbo, but were sure to find it soon, wait, whats that over there! i see a giant slice of cake!" "pull over klark! justice can wait, it is our lifelong mission to find the best cake in the universe!" *urrrrrrrcccchhh* "who could possibly create a slice of cake this big, why its 10 times the size of our ship! can you imagine how big the rest of the cake must be?!" suddenly, the slice of cake opened up and a beam of frosting came out to take a hold of thier ship. "thier pulling us in jimbo! what do we do?"

join us next time to see what will happen to spaceman Jim!

a strawberry poem

There once lived a strawberry man
and his name was strawberry bob,
he decided to visit the strawberry city
to find a strawberry job.

While he was in the strawberry city
he met a strawberry girl,
she wore lots of strawberry ribbons
and had lots of strawberry curls.

they got married on strawberry bread
and now shes his strawberry wife,
then they both met a strawberry mouth
and then they both strawberry died.

a sad poem

nobody stays, everyone leaves, and when they do stay they are never quite there.
rooms full of people are rooms full of needs, yet when i have a need, i get not but a stare.

morning and midday and evening and night,
Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday alike,
whatever the day, month, or year,
every moment is marked with despair.

what you once lost can never be found,
why you once smiled is now why you frown

These things i don't tell you so that you'll be sad,
but to show you the truth of the life that i have. -wolfman (aka, me)

money problems

a Scotsman walks into an American mans house, where a party is taking place, the host of the party sees the scotsman wearing a kilt and, thinking it was a skirt, sues the scotsman for offending him in an obscure manner. In turn, The Scotsman sues him back for calling his clan kilt a skirt. Not knowing what a kilt was, the American sues him back for making up a story about how it is thier culture. Once again the Scotsman sues him back for calling his heritage a scam.

after suing each other, they were both angered at seeing that no money had been added to either of thier accounts, and in turn decided to try and sue the judge in charge of thier court case, they both lost, and the judge sued them both. here is the record of the money flow throughout this ordeal

American bank account$20,000 Scotsman bank account$10,000
American bank account*sued* $11,000 Scotsman bank account$19,000
American bank account$35,000 Scotsman bank account$4,000 *sued*
American bank account*sued* $15,000 Scotsman bank account$24,000
American bank account$20,000 Scotsman bank account$10,000 *sued*
American bank accoun*sued by judge* $0 Scotsman bank account $0 *sued by judge*


but how should you know if you are wise? if a man says "you speak wise words." but how should he know what is wise if he is not? and how should you know if he is wise if you are not? but how should i know if these words i have written are wise, for how may the unwise know the wise? if i fool should write wise words, who is there but he to determine whether or not his words are wise? are these words wise?

a long introduction

I would like to introduce the man who is about to entertain you, the man who is about to entertain you is precisely the one i would like to introduce, preluding the entertainment that this man will enact, i would currently like to introduce you to him, the introduction of witch i am speaking is solely based on a person who happens to be this man. This man, being the one that i would like to introduce of whom has the intention to entertain you, will now be introduced. The purpose of the subject of this man and the fact that this man will entertain you is specifically designed to be introduced at this time...